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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Dawson

It's Time to Appear

Updated: Nov 24, 2021

OMG – would you believe that Sarah Jessica Parker has grey hair?! Does she know what she looks like? Why would she let this show?

In case you didn’t pick up on it, I am being incredibly sarcastic. Negative sentiment about her grey hair has been floating around, and her pathetic critics, unfortunately suggesting how society views aging women, have left me a bit livid. Perhaps only a small percentage of ignorant people are making a great deal of noise, but given the gigantic anti-aging beauty market, we obviously care about how women look.

She has grey hair because – news flash – women can get grey hair when they get older!

Her response was nothing short of brilliant. She said, ‘I know what I look like. I have no choice. What am I going to do about it? Stop aging? Disappear?’

Disappear. Wow. Half of me is high-fiving her fantastic response, but then the other half is just sad. This isn't really about grey hair. Why does society treat one of the best demographic groups out there, middle-aged women, with such contempt? And why are we so under-represented in the media, at least in a way that doesn't try to make a 50 year old look like she is 25? We can have grey roots and some wrinkles on the forehead, and yet still glamorously rock the party. Or at least be given the chance.

Don’t get me wrong, as a middle-aged woman (I admit, it’s never really enjoyable to be called a middle-aged woman), I have an anti-aging regime. We live in a very vain, filter-filled world, and I have every right to want to feel great in my own skin. There is nothing wrong with a bit of vanity – we can try to age gracefully without actually denying the biological fact that we are getting older, if we are lucky enough to keep living.

Middle-aged women are full of experience, wisdom, confidence, and support for other women, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. If it weren’t for that ticking mortality clock, I would take age and all of its benefits over youth any day. We as a demographic know who we are, and generally accept ourselves, contrary to our younger, more insecure selves, but society still seems to want the wisdom without seeing the wrinkles.

Trends are changing, but we are not anywhere near where we need to be. Misogyny and ageism are real. Women are constantly left to feel like our worth dwindles with our aging bodies. The reality, though, is that an older, confident woman with a lifetime of experience, who still goes out with her friends and wears cool clothes, is simply magical. A rockstar. There are quite a lot of women out there (with disposable income!) who would agree with me, and want to see more representation.

Perhaps you dye your hair, dabble in some botox, or pluck random black chin hairs that suddenly keep appearing. Perhaps you just let it all go wild. The beauty of being middle-aged is that you know you can do whatever you want to do. Finally. So why wouldn't/shouldn't that be embraced and showcased?

We know our value. We are not going to disappear – it is time that we finally really appear.


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